


YOU CANT ACCIDENTALLY SUCK SOMEONES DICK, YAHABA

by Blondie600



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Funny, It's honestly ridiculous dont look at me, M/M, This Is STUPID, i guess its funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 23:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5224856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blondie600/pseuds/Blondie600
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi is blind as fuck to everyone in the teams relationships<br/>There may or may not be a bet going on about whether he and Oikawa are dating</p>
            </blockquote>





	YOU CANT ACCIDENTALLY SUCK SOMEONES DICK, YAHABA

“Iwa-chan?” A hand grips my shoulder and makes me look up from tying my shoe laces

“Hmm.”

“What’re they talking about?” Oikawa asks, pointing towards Watari and Makki who’re stood next to each other having what looks like a very serious conversation.

“I don’t know! Why don’t you go and ask them, dumbass.” I huff, standing up and rolling my eyes at him.

“They’re talking about the bet.”

“What bet?” Oikawa hisses, spinning round to look at Mattsun who’s smirking down at him.

“You two don’t need to worry about them! You wouldn’t be interested.” He shrugs, sipping from his water bottle before grinning at us and striding away.

“Suspicious.” Oikawa hums, resting his elbow on my shoulder

“Get off me and go do something productive.” I reply, pushing his arm off me and heading off towards Yahaba who’s looking at me strangely “What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” He replies, holding up his hands in surrender “Just thinking.”

“Well, stop.”

“Yessir!” He says, saluting me sarcastically

“Don’t sass me.”

“Stop being mean to me then! I’ll set Kyoutani on you!” He retorts

“What?” Kyoutani asks, appearing in front of us and glaring at Yahaba

“Jeez you’re all so touchy today.” He sighs, literally patting Kyoutani on the head before going back to his serving practise.

“MAKKI, I’LL DOUBLE MINE!” Kunimi yells from across the court. Wait… Kunimi just yelled? What the hell is going on today?

“FUCK OFF WILL YOU!” Mattsun yells back “FINE, I’LL TRIPLE MINE!” He adds as he looks over at Oikawa and I; the latter who has his arm around my shoulders and is looking at Kunimi in shock.

“This. Is. Amazing.” Watari snorts, practically wheezing as Kunimi sprints past us and towards Makki who’s looking way too smug for his own good.

“Ok, I’m calling it everyone go the fuck home.” I snap, lobbing a ball at Makki’s head as I pass him.

“LOVE YOU!” He yells as I head out the gym.

God they’re all so annoying.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Hajime!” Someone says behind me making me spin round and quickly dodge the hand coming down to land on my shoulder. I’m making my way out of the school grounds and towards home after another shit day and the last thing I want is to talk to Hanamaki Takahiro.

“What?”

“Nice to see you too buddy!” Makki grins, going to put his arm around my shoulder until I dodge that and walk backwards in front of him towards the school gates.

“Are you going to the shop?” He asks, rolling his eyes at me as he catches me up and falls into step besides me, also walking backwards.

“Neither of you will be going anywhere if you carry on walking like that.” Yahaba says from behind us making us both spin round “The rest of the teams gone on ahead to get ice cream.” He adds, gesturing vaguely down the road.

“Rude.” Makki snorts, shoving his hands in his pockets “My own boyfriend can’t wait for me, he better buy me ice cream.”

“I’m still not over this.” I frown “You two dating I mean, it’s weird.”

“It’s very weird.” Yahaba agrees

“Says the kid who’s sucking Mad Dog’s dick.”

“SORRY WHAT?” I splutter; looking round at Yahaba as he slowly turns bright red

“I… We… I… Maybe…” He stutters, covering his face with his hands and running ahead of us “DON’T LOOK AT ME!”

“Oh my god. Oh. My. God. I can’t do this.” I cry, stopping in the middle of the street as Makki laughs loudly

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”

“YOU CANT ACCIDENTALLY SUCK SOMEONES DICK, YAHABA.” I yell as he comes back towards us, still red as a tomato

“It just sorta happened! We were making out and next thing I knew there was dick in my mouth.” He mumbles

“PLEASE STOP!” I shout, clamping my hands over my ears “It’s bad enough listening to him go on about Issei, I don’t need to hear ANYTHING about anyone else’s dick thank you very much.”

“How long have you been dating?” Makki asks, trailing behind me next to Yahaba as we start walking again.

“We started kinda angrily making out in the changing rooms after you had all left. I’m not 100% sure why but it happened, it wasn’t long after he came back to the team actually. We’ve only been dating properly for a month though.” He replies.

“Jesus really?” I mutter; looking round at him and making him blush again

“Well, he pissed me off so much I couldn’t even consider dating him so we just sorta messed around for ages and then he kinda calmed down and we started spending more time together that didn’t involve making out and here we are.” He garbles, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

“Wow, that’s some TV shit right there.” Makki whistles

“Dude, your first kiss with Issei happened because you’d been arguing and then you accidentally confessed to him and ran out of the house so he followed you into the rain and kissed you. THAT’S TV shit.” I snort, raising an eyebrow at him as we turn a corner and see the team in the distance

“Ohmygod that’s sooooooo cute.” Yahaba gasps, making Makki blush this time.

“Shut up.” He mumbles, glaring at both of us before jogging down the hill and towards the team.

“IWA-CHAN, I GOT YOU ICE CREAM!” Oikawa yells, bounding towards me and handing me a cone.

“Thanks!” I grin, accepting it and then pulling him towards me “Did you know Yahaba and Kyoutani are dating?”

“WHAT?” He screeches

“Shut up!” I hiss, clamping a hand over his mouth “I’ll tell you more later just keep your gob shut ok?”

“I had my suspicions I must admit but I didn’t think they were actually dating.” He whispers/squeals, hugging my arm as we follow the team towards the park. I catch Kunimi and Watari looking at us intently as they walk ahead of us before turning back and whispering to each other. What the hell is going on?

“Iwaizumi-senpai, what are they talking about?” Kindaichi asks; appearing out of nowhere and making me jump.

“To be honest Kindaichi, I’ve been wondering the same thing.” I huff, glaring at Watari, Kunimi and Makki who’re now having a heated discussion.  
“Kunimi won’t tell me, I’ve asked him loads of time and even threated not to kiss him for a week but he won’t back down.” He muses, shaking his head before jogging forwards and falling into step besides Yahaba.

I stop walking and look up at the sky before falling onto the pavement and sitting cross legged, my head in my hands.

“What the fuck Hajime!” Oikawa squawks, looking down at me in concern

“I can’t cope with this, how did I not know?” I moan, shaking my head

“What that Kunimi and Kindaichi are dating? Oh come on, even I knew that!”

“Shut up Trashykawa.”

“Oh Haijime.” He laughs, kneeling down in front of me and ruffling my hair like he used to when we were younger.

“We have the gayest team in the country.”

“Nah, Suga told me everyone in Karasuno is dating so it’s not that bad.” Oikawa shrugs, offering me a hand to help me get up and keeping hold of it as we walk down the street after the others.

“Since when have you been friends with Suga?” I ask, remembering the ridiculously pretty setter from previous matches.

“Since our first match actually, he’s a good listener.” He hums, swinging our clasped hands as we enter the park “He and Daichi have been fuc-“

“NO.” I yell, letting go of his hand and running further into the park, hands clasped over my ears.

“Why do you look so distressed?” Watari asks as I reach the team and fall down onto the grass besides him

“I’ve heard way too much about too many people’s dicks today, I’m going mad.”

“Awh Iwa-chan! Does that mean we can’t have sex tonight?” Oikawa pouts, sitting down beside me.

“I FUCKING CALLED IT!” Kunimi screams, leaping up and throwing his hands into the air

“I. FUCKING. TOLD. YOU.” Watari yells, jumping up as well and hugging Kunimi excitedly

“NOOOOOOOOO.” Mattsun cries, putting his head in his hands and letting out a fake sob as Kunimi and Watari dance around each other “I was SO SURE.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Kyoutani grumbles

And then it hits me like a ton of bricks.

“YOU WERE BETTING ON WHETHER WE WERE FUCKING OR NOT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

“And the final horse crosses the finish line.” Makki replies, an incredibly smug grin on his face.

“I said I thought you were dating and those two were like nah they’re just fucking I bet you so, we bet on it and now I’ve LOST.” Mattsun sighs, running a hand through his hair

“We are dating.” Oikawa says, blinking at him in surprise “I thought you all knew?”

“Wait what, you didn’t know?” I splutter, looking round at them all “Are you serious?”

“HOW LONG?” Mattsun, Watari and Kunimi yell at us

“Since the first year of high school, I thought it was obvious?” I reply, looking at Oikawa who looks just as confused as I feel.

“Holy shit.” Yahaba whispers, eyes wide as he looks between Oikawa and I “I told you.” He says, nudging Kyoutani who’s looking at us in mild disgust

“Dude, that’s gay.”

“YAHABA HAD YOUR DICK IN HIS MOUTH JUST LAST WEEK KYOUTANI. YOU CAN SHUT THE HELL UP.” I holler, glaring at him.

“Wait, you told him that?” Kyoutani barks, turning to Yahaba who’s slowly scrambling away from him

“It was an accident! It was Makki’s fault I didn’t mean to I…”

“Holy shit this team is the gayest thing I’ve ever been a part of.” Watari laughs as Kyoutani runs after Yahaba.

“Wait, are you the honorary straight?” Makki asks, looking at Watari who snorts with laughter

“Yeah I guess I am.”

“I’M NOT GAY!” Kyoutani yells as he runs past us, hot on the heels of a screaming Yahaba.

“I bet they end up making out against a tree.” Mattsun mutters

“NO MORE BETTING THANK YOU! There’s been more than enough of that these past few days.” I huff, crossing my arms and glaring at Mattsun, Kunimi and Watari.

“Kaaaay.” Kunimi sighs, sitting back down and resting his head on Kindaichi’s shoulder making him blush.

“How did this bet start anyway?” Oiakwa asks, frowning round at the rest of the team.

“Well, Haijime isn’t good with people touching him is he?” Makki says, looking at me indignantly

“I don’t like being touched un-expectedly there’s nothing wrong with that.” I retort, staring back at him

“Sure, whatever. Anyway I noticed at the beginning of the year that you never react when Oikawa touches you, whether it’s expected or not and I just assumed it was because you’d know each other your whole lives! But then I told Issei one day after practise and he decided you two were secretly dating. But Kunimi over heard the conversation and said that he thought you two were just fucking, Watari agreed and the rest is history.”

“God I hate you guys.” I moan, shaking my head as Oikawa just stares at Makki in shock

“You guys are fucking savage.” He sighs, patting me on the shoulder as they all laugh at us.

“Ok home time, I’ve had enough of all of you.” I decide, jumping up and pulling Oikawa with me “Where’s Yahaba?”

“I’m here.” He says, breathing heavily as he runs up to us “I escaped with my life.”

“Just.” Kyoutani grumbles from behind him, pushing through to grab both of their bags and then leading us all out of the park.

“Today has been ridiculous.” I grumble, trailing behind the others with Oikawa by my side

“I can’t believe they didn’t realise we’re dating.” He replies, scrunching up his face in confusion “I mean; Suga picked it up as soon as he met us and I’m pretty sure Tobio knew somehow.”

“Jeez.”

“It’s nicer that they know now though right? We’re pretty much all dating each other it’s cute!”

“It’s weird.”

“Iwa-chaaaaan!”

“What? It is!” I argue, waving to Makki and Mattsun as the turn off the main road and head towards Mattsun’s house “I obviously knew about them but those two?” I say, gesturing to Yahaba and Kyoutani as they head off in another direction.

“They’re cute,” Oikawa muses, linking his arm through mine “Same with them.” He adds, nodding towards Kunimi and Kindaichi who’re walking close together, shoulders brushing gently.

“Poor Watari,”

“Nah, he takes it in his stride.” Oikawa grins, waving to the libero as we pass him waiting at the bus stop besides Kunimi and Kindaichi.

“Our own little gay squad.”

“Tooru, no.”

“Tooru, yes.” He replies, sticking his tongue out at me as we reach our houses “Are you coming in for dinner?”

“As much as I want to, I have homework to do.” I reply, looking down at our linked hands

“Well, come over when you’re done?” He asks, smiling softly as I nod.

He then bends down slightly and kisses me. Quickly and softly but it leaves me with a pounding heart and a blush on my cheeks, my promise to visit him this evening weighing heavy on my mind as I enter my house and run up to my room. I fall face down on my bed and let out a long sigh.

I’m a love struck fool and apparently, so it the rest of my team.

My life is ridiculous.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fastest I have ever written anything j e e z  
> Hello, its me, I'm sorry I havent posted anything in FOREVER but here I am  
> This is dedicated to the fabulous yahabooty on Tumblr, I hope you like it hun! c:  
> Dingly-Wingly on Tumblr told me I had to name it this, I'm sorry if you were expecting something diffrent than what the title suggests  
> Oooon the subject of Tumblr, I accidentally deleted mine!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!! So I re made and if any of you fancy giving me a follow (pls) I'm at woowoowonwoo :3  
> I hope you enjoyed! Please leave Kudos if you did! ^_^


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